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Santa Claus replies

05/12/2012
Santa Claus by Donnie Nunley

Dear Marcelli,

I tried sending you a message on WhatsApp, but you can imagine how bad the connection is here in Lapland. The 3G does not work properly and the connection always fails, so I decided to write to you instead. In your letter, you say that you behaved more or less, but let’s be honest, do you have any idea of the hassle you have given me this year? How many times have you said you would like to change your life? I can count at least three hundred times with the same old story of “should I stay or should I go?”, honestly you drive me crazy! Do you know how many times I’ve had to ask Mrs. Claus to update your address?

Photo: J E Theriot

Photo: J E Theriot

Now, about these presents… I think you’re confusing the good old man here with the Easter Bunny. What is this chocolate machine that doesn’t make you fat all about? Me and the elves are hard at work here producing iPhones, Xboxs, bicycles, DVDs, computers, iPads, and you come with that? The best I can do is to offer you a DVD of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and if you really behave, I’ll see if I can rustle up the 3D version.

Photo: Matteo Garza

Photo: Matteo Garza

Finally, ‘fly like Peter Pan’ … hmmm … how am I going to explain this without hurting your feelings … a friend of mine told me that the writer of this story was crazy and none of it is real. How about this… I can give you a broom so the next time you are at a fancy dress party you can dress up as a witch, drink loads and pretend that you can fly, ok?

Regards,

Santa Claus

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